We all deserve to be surrounded by people who encourage us to be our best. With this in mind, read my own round up of the friends you need around in your twenties
There are some essentials that absolutely everyone needs in their life. A well fitting pair of jeans, for example, or a mug that can hold an appropriate serving of soup. But aside from the material objects that make our lives feel more complete, there are certain types of friends you need around to offer advice and encourage you to be the best you can be.
The Cheerleader is there to blow your trumpet when you refuse to. When you’re at your lowest, this type of friend is there to pick you straight up and celebrate all the small achievements you’ve made recently that you haven’t acknowledged.
The Cheerleader is also the friend to say ‘fuck it’ to when the world is out to get you. They will happily help you drown your sorrows in gin/pizza/chocolate (delete as applicable) and will facilitate you going into full self-indulgence mode when the time is right.
The Tough Love One
The Tough Love friend is kind of the opposite of a cheerleader. They’re the friend that won’t let you settle for mediocre and will always push you to improve on yourself. Good for when you’re stuck in a rut, this is the friend who is on hand to give you some harsh words of wisdom that motivate you to improve.
Though this isn’t the friend you immediately think of when you’re feeling blue, they know you well enough to see when this approach is more likely to leave you feeling battered and deflated than spur you on. It may not seem like it, but every word comes from a place of love and they’ll be the first one you want to celebrate your big successes with.
The Chalk (or Cheese)
To use an overdone phrase, variety is the spice of life. Naturally, we seek out those who have similar interests to ourselves, as it gives us common ground to talk about and share. If we want to broaden our horizons, however, we should also be treasuring those friends who have more differences than similarities.
These are the friends who, on paper, look like they’d be the last person you’d be spending time with but, between you, you can push each others boundaries and show one another new experiences you otherwise wouldn’t look twice at. If you can’t run for the bus, but your mate is a fitness fanatic they might be able to provide some much needed exercise advice, likewise you may be a film lover and can lead them to their new favourite director.
Some friends you need in your life may have been there longer than others. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a sibling that they’re close to, but to those of us who are they’re invaluable. Friends come and go while siblings, on the whole, are there for the full duration and have usually shared the experiences that make you you.
No one knows my history more than my brother. Our parents went through a messy divorce, in which I was given a hard time, and he has my back if one of them misremembers events. We also have very similar interests, which is convenient for when we want to spend time together.
Not all of us can be gifted with the knack for organising social events. If, like me, your core group of friends are more difficult to round up than an inebriated stag do, it can be a nightmare trying to get them in one place at the same time. The Socialite has a gift for always being able to gather people and is the first friend you’d want organising you a surprise party.
That’s not to say this is a friend you should only turn to when you’re wanting a B.N.O (or Big Night Out to the uninitiated). Socialites are the friends you need who’ll always be keen to make time for you, even when you’re just planning on grabbing a coffee or a film. This is the friend that will always make you feel valued and worth spending time with.
Some of these friends might be all rolled into one, or may take the form of different family members or colleagues. In years gone by I’ve fallen into the trap of choosing shit friends over no friends and I’ve now learnt that, though for some people it’s not terrible easy to surround yourself with an abundance of friends, it’s important that those we are closest to value us and only wish us the best in life.
What other types of friend do you feel are important to have around? Did you have anyone particularly in mind while reading my post?